Lyrics to Live By

Deck the halls with boughs of holly,/
Fa la la la la, la la la la./
Tis the season to be jolly,/
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Don we now our gay apparel,/
Fa la la, la la la, la la la./
Troll the ancient Yule tide carol,/
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

See the blazing Yule before us,/
Fa la la la la, la la la la. /
Strike the harp and join the chorus,/
Fa la la la la, la la la la./

Follow me in merry measure,/
Fa la la la la, la la la la./
While I tell of Yule tide treasure,/
Fa la la la la, la la la la./

Fast away the old year passes,/
Fa la la la la, la la la la./
Hail the new, ye lads and lasses,/
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Sing we joyous, all together,/
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Heedless of the wind and weather,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

"Deck the Halls"

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

How I Failed Five Today

Did not, in any way, fail him on Christmas. In fact, he has no idea how successful I was today!

How I Failed Five Today

Forgot snack. Again. Have now made packing snack his responsibility.

Lyrics and Failures

Oh, this is how it starts/
Lightning strikes the heart/
It goes off like a gun/
Brighter than the sun.

Oh, we could be the stars/
Falling from the sky/
Shining how we want/
Brighter than the sun.

"Brighter Than the Sun"

COLBIE CAILLAT

How I Failed Five Today

Would not buy him "crowns," the monetary system they use on his online game, even though it was a really good deal!

How I Failed Five Today

Ha! I didn't! At least not so far today.

How I Failed Five Today

Forgot to pack his speech folder. He has it every week. I should know that by now.

(It's actually every six days, which makes it nearly impossible to remember. I need speech to end.)

Lyrics to Live By

I could not ask for more/
Than this time together/
I could not ask for more than this time with you/
And every prayer has been answered/
And every dream has come true/
Yeah, right here in this moment/
Is right where I'm meant to be/
Here with you/
Here with me

"I Could Not Ask For More"

EDWIN MC CAIN

How I Failed Five Today

Took forever to put the lights on the Christmas tree. Dad told him we would put the decorations on tonight, and if that didn't happen he would just die! Christmas is coming, in, like, eighteen days!

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't buy him the pre-decorated, tiny Christmas shrub at Home Depot. Today we went back, bought it with his money and put it in his room, because it's his own money, and he can buy what he wants.

Lyrics to Live By

The glow that the sun gives
Right around sunset
Helps me realize
This is just a journey

Drop your worries
You are gonna turn out fine
Oh, you'll turn out fine
Fine, oh you'll turn out fine

But you gotta keep your head up
And you can let your hair down
You gotta keep your head up
And you can let your hair down

"Keep Your Head Up"

ANDY GRAMMER

How I Failed Five Today

Promised his new game would be here on Wednesday. When Wednesday arrived, realized I hadn't ordered it. Even though I told him there was a "problem with shipping," he knew it was because I forgot.

How I Failed Five Today

Had to rub his back more when he woke up, because he was sleeping through the first part.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't sign the permission slip for the Christmas Pageant choir. Which meant he had to spend the whole time in CCD. Then I was late picking him up, because I went to the choir room instead of his classroom. They were about to call me!

How I Failed Five Today

Had no more chocolate chip mini-muffins. How could that be, when he only ate four? There were, like, twenty muffins in there! Even if his brothers ate four each....well, there must have been MORE than twenty muffins in there!

Lyrics to Live By

Oh, oh, oh, oh sometimes I get a good feeling, yeah/
I get a feeling that I never, never, never, never had before, no, no/
I get a good feeling, yeah/

Good feelin', good feelin'/
I know you got the good feelin'/
Let's get it, let's get it/
Gotta love the life that we livin'

"Good Feeling"

FLO RIDA

How I Failed Five Today

Still can't find the "Book-It" chart that proves we read twenty minutes a night. Now he won't get a prize!

(I know it's here somewhere...)

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him drink a Gatorade in the car on the way back from Sunday school. He was thirsty and bored, and it didn't even have any artificial color or flavor!

Lyrics to Live By

Closing time-time for you to go out to the places you will be from/
Closing time-this room won't be open 'til your brothers or your sisters come./
So gather up your jackets, and move it to the exits/
I hope you have found a friend./
Closing time-every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end, yeah.

"Closing Time"

SEMISONIC

How I Failed Five Today

Thought he had his afterschool program, so didn't get him at the bus stop, either of the two times the bus drove by. He had to go back to the school and wait for me.

Lyrics To Live By

If I traded it all, if I gave it all away/
For one thing, just for one thing/
If I sorted it out, if I knew all about/
This one thing, wouldn't that be something.

"One Thing"

FINGER ELEVEN

How I Failed Five Today

Forgot his speech homework. I'm merely solidfying my reputation, so he'll really appreciate me when I remember.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't pack his math homework, so he had to re-do the sheet. On both sides! And he can't just hand in his original homework, because she gave him a new sheet, which means he has to do it again. On both sides!

Lyrics to Live By

If you were falling, then I would catch you/
You need a light, I'd find a match/

Cuz I love the way you say good morning/
And you take me the way I am/

If you are chilly, here take my sweater/
Your head is aching; I'll make it better/

Cuz I love the way you call me baby/
And you take me the way I am/

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair/
Sew on patches to all you tear/

Cuz I love you more than I could promise/
And you take me the way I am/
You take me the way I am/
You take me the way I am.

"The Way I Am"

INGRID MICHAELSON

 

How I Failed Five Today

Started playing the dance music while he was still in the shower. He had to get out and go dance naked until I found his pajamas. (I admit I took my time finding them.)

How I Failed Five Today

Wrote a note to his teacher to ask a question. That's going to get him in trouble.

Lyrics to Live By

Hush little baby, don't say a word/
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird/

And if that mockingbird don't sing/
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring/

And if that diamond ring turns brass/
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass/

And if that looking glass gets broke/
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat/

And if that billy goat won't pull
Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull/

And if that cart and bull fall down/
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.

"Hush Little Baby"

LULLABY

How I Failed Five Today

Missed the ice cream social at school. There was ice cream, and it was two hours long, and there was a D.J.! How could I not remember? I never listen to him.

(The school sends all notices electronically. I missed it. He didn't tell me. He doesn't like ice cream, but it's true-the D.J. would have been fun.)

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't front him the ten dollars to order an extra Lego kit. I mean, he's good for it. Obviously.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't pay him his allowance until Sunday. Which is the beginning of a new week. He's supposed to get paid at the end of the week.

Lyrics and Failures

Mr. Bring Me Down/
Well ya like to bring me down, dont' ya/
But I ain't laying down/
Baby I ain't going down/
Can't nobody tell me how it's gonna be/
Nobody's gonna make a fool out of me/
Baby you should know that I lead, not follow

"Mr. Know it All"

KELLY CLARKSON

How I Failed Five Today

Made him wait for Dad to go to the diner for dessert. He's been planning this for weeks, and I keep making him wait! And then, after he had chocolate chip pancakes, I would not buy him a big cookie. You know, they're pancakes, which isn't really dessert.

How I Failed Five Today

He did not get enough sleep last night, so the day was full of many failures. Usually involving my inability to give him what he wanted IMMEDIATELY.

How I Failed Five Today

Would not let him build the Lego mini-sub three minutes before we had to leave for the bus. How long does it take to flip through a few pages of instructions, anyway?

How I Failed Five Today

He's not allowed to say, because I gave birth to him. He is contractually obligated to be grateful to me today.

Lyrics to Live By

Sing it out/
Boy, you've got to see what tomorrow brings/
Sing it out/
Girl, you've got to be what tomorrow needs

For every time that/
They want to count you out/
Use your voice every single time/
You open up your mouth

Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls/
Every time you lose it, sing it for the world/
Sing it from the heart, sing it 'til you're nuts/
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts
Sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind/
Sing about everyone that you left behind/
Sing it for the world, sing it for the world

"Sing"
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

How I Failed Five Today

Oh my, in so many ways. Other kids have good mothers that will let them go to a different school. Nice moms. Not like me.

How I Failed Five Today

Cut his fingernails before school. He was sleepy, and his hands weren't ready!

Lyrics To Live By

Take me to the river/
Drop me in the water/
Take me to the river/
Drop me in the water, water/
I don't know why I love you like I do/
All the trouble that you put me through/
Take my money, my cigarettes/
I haven't seen the worst of it yet/
I wanna know, can you tell me?/
I love to stay/
Take me to the river/
Drop me in the water

"Take Me to the River"
TALKING HEADS

How I Failed Five Today

Made him wait until I was done eating dinner to get him dessert. But twenty minutes is too long!

Lyrics To Live By

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know dear
How much I love you
So please don't take
My sunshine
Away.

The other night dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear
I was mistaken
And I held
My head
And cried.

"You are My Sunshine"
RICKY NELSON

(and me, a thousand times)

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him eat four packs of fruit snacks. Why not? They're fruit!

How I Failed Five Today

Got him a string launcher as an early birthday present, when he really wanted a Duo Launcher. Next time I get him an early birthday present, it would be good to double-check with him. To make sure I get it right.

Lyrics to Live By

LYRICS TO LIVE BY

Do you remember/
when we were strung out/
Eating top ramen and/
macaroni and cheese/
We would get so lost/
in that basement room/
And let Otis Redding/
sing us to sleep.

I wish I had one more life.

I don't want to be wasted/
I don't want to live inside/
this daydream anymore/
I just want to be happy again.

"Otis Redding"
EVERCLEAR

How I Failed Five Today

Wizard 101 shut off right in the middle of an important battle. It was probably because I installed it wrong.

How I Failed Five Today

Got Sicilian pizza for dinner. He doesn't like when you can see the sauce underneath the cheese. And it's too thick.

Lyrics to Live By

Sometimes I wish I lived in an Airstream/
Homemade curtains, lived just like a gypsy/
Break a heart, roll out of town/
'Cause gypsies never get tied down.


Sometimes I wish I lived by a pier/
In a lighthouse with a chandelier/
I'd watch everybody's ships come in/
And then I'd sail away with them.

"Airstream Song"
MIRANDA LAMBERT

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him shoot his Beyblades across my hardwood floor. They won't leave scratches. They're hardly made of metal at all.

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't sit with him all day and look at pet lizard options on the computer. But Aunt Erin said he had to do research before he got a new pet!

How I Failed Five Today

Couldn't figure out how to "free roam" on the PS3 racing car game he was playing. This will be a perpetual failure.

How I Failed Five

Couldn't find his blue pouch that holds his Beyblade tools. I mean, I'm the one who put it in his desk, so I should know where it is.

Lyrics To Live By

Today I don't feel like doing anything/
I just want to lay in my bed/
Don't feel like picking up my phone/
So leave a message at the tone/
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything/
Nothing at all.


"The Lazy Song"
BRUNO MARS

How I Failed Five

Let him swim in the pool after the chemicals had been added, and he got a really bad rash. I mean, not IMMEDIATELY after the chemicals had been added, but my bad.

Lyrics to Live By

We belong to the light/
We belong to the thunder/
We belong to the sound of the words/
We've both fallen under

Whatever we deny or embrace/
For worse or for better/
We belong, we belong/
We belong together.


"We Belong"
PAT BENATAR

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him eat the Doritos from the snack bags. He knows they're for the beach, but they're taunting him! He can't resist them!

How I Failed Five Today

Tried to eat lunch outside without him. He wanted a lunch break, too, you know.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't get him a cup of water at bedtime, even though he'd been waiting for so long. Clearly he was dehydrated, which is why he still wasn't asleep.

How I Failed Five Today

Took him to the dentist, and even though I said the paintbrush stuff wouldn't taste horrible, it did! It tasted just as bad as last time! He hates the dentist, and the prize didn't even stick like it was supposed to.

How I Failed Five Today

Took him to the dentist, and even though I said the paintbrush stuff wouldn't taste horrible, it did! It tasted just as bad as last time! He hates the dentist, and the prize didn't even stick like it was supposed to.

Luminous Lyrics

This light at the end of the day/
When even the highway seems still/
The map in my hands folded shut/
there isn't one magical word/
But a carnival of them instead/
Like an old silent cinema screen.

And in this light you are framed classically/
Just a painting that hangs in my head/
That I know like the back of my hand/
With the sunset the neon awakes/
And the cold colours dance on your skin/
And finally the modern makes sense to me.

You're effortless, you know you are/
And all I want to do/
Is let you lead me off into the dusk/
The shadows kiss before we do/
Right here in the dark/
I revel in the calm before the storm.

"Held in the Arms of Your Words"
TIRED PONY

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't take him to the pond to hunt for tadpoles and turtles. 87 degrees is the perfect temperature to go there! Who cares that we can't swim there? We can just catch things!

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't take him to see the fireworks. He was pretty sure it wasn't all that tiring to put my hands on the steering wheel and drive there, and we didn't have that much stuff to carry. Now he'd have to wait a whole year to see them again.

How I Failed Five Today

Couldn't get "Star Wars Battlefront Two" to work on the Playstation. It's his favorite game! Nothing else would make him happy.

Lyrics to Live By

If I wasn't by your side/
I'd never be satisfied/
Nothin' would feel just right/
If I wasn't by your side/

'Cause I'm not easy to understand/
But you know me like the back of your hand/
I'm your girl and you're my man/
And we're makin' plans/

We can go on and on/
Won't ever feel too long/
I'll always call you home/
And we'll go on and on

"Makin' Plans"

MIRANDA LAMBERT

How I Failed Five Today

There was only one big chocolate chip cookie left, not two, and I gave the first one to Four. The other one was oatmeal. Why would I think he liked oatmeal? Really. Why?

Lyrics to Live By

You've gotta pick yourself up by the bootstraps/
No one's gonna help you out when you fall/
You've gottta find a way out of your problems/
When you're broke and you're backed up against the wall/
If you sleep on your only chances/
They'll never come around again/
So dig deep and swing for the fences/
You never know it might work out in the end

"Memorial Day"

DROPKICK MURPHYS

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him drink Coca-Cola at nine o'clock at night. I wasn't around to ask, and his cousin said it was okay, so he didn't understand what was wrong with it.

How I Failed Five Today

We forgot to put his bookbag in the car, and even though I said I would drive it back to him, I didn't. Oh sure, I could tell you that I got distracted by the construction at my house, or that I had to drive my mom to the doctor, but you know, the boy went without lunch.

Lyrics to Live By

LYRICS TO LIVE BY

Next time I'll be braver/
I'll be my own savior/
When the thunder calls for me./

Next time I'll be braver/
I'll be my own savior/
Standing on my own two feet./

"Turning Tables"

ADELE

How I Failed Five Today

How could I not remember where he put his stylus? He gave it to me in the car.

How I Failed Five Today

I suggested that he sleep at the foot of the bed so he could feel the fan better. But then Four tickled him, and he hit his head on the wooden footboard. And his legs already hurt him, because he's growing, and if he gets hurt anymore he's just going to leave this house.

Lyrics to Live By

When you're happy like a fool/
Let it take you over/
When everything is out/
You gotta take it in

Oh, this has gotta be the good life/
This has gotta be the good life/
This could really be a good life, good life/
Say, oh, got this feeling that you can't fight/
This could really be a good life/
A good, good life.

"Good Life"

ONE REPUBLIC

How I Failed Five Today

It was my night to bring snacks to the baseball game, and I only offered one kind. That was kind of lame.

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't buy him the Brisk Pink Lemonade at the pizza parlour. Everyone disappoints him. Especially his family.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't believe him when he told me someone looked at him while he was sleeping. Thirty seconds after I put him to bed. Was I trying to make him cry? Because no one in the family likes him. Do I want him to run away and join another family? Because he might!

How I Failed Five Today

Haven't made his piggy bank for the unit on money. Where will he keep all his fake change for the school store? Seriously, teachers, I am over projects of any kind at this point.

How I Failed Five Today

Forgot to spray him with mosquito repellent, and now he is covered in raised welts. Telling him he has sweet blood didn't seem to help.

How I Failed Four Today

Thanks to me, Four got two points deducted for an incomplete homework page. I hadn't checked to make sure it was done. I told him I'm only human, and Five chimed in to say, "She makes mistakes, you know. It's no big deal." Oh, the irony.

How I Failed Five Today

The cheese and crackers he ate before his game wasn't real dinner, which is why he needed more food before bed!

How I Failed Five Today

Threw away an important green feather that belonged to his stuffed tiger. He doesn't know I threw it away, because he asked where it was as we were walking out the door for the bus. I lied, to get him to school. The Lone Woman is not perfect.

How I Failed Five Today

Got a puppy that eats all his plastic dinosaurs, and jumps on him on the couch! Why did we get her anyway?

How I Failed Five Today

I forget at least one dose of antibiotic each day. He'll never get better!

How I Failed Five Today

Same song, different key:
I made him go to school today, even though he still feels horrible! Don't I understand what that means? His throat is sore, and his legs hurt, too! Why does strep make his legs hurt?

(In the Woman's defense: the boy has been on antibiotics since Sunday. His throat isn't any more sore than it was four days ago. And I think his legs hurt because he grows an inch a day. Plus, I had a hair appointment, so there was no way he could stay home. Those grey hairs aren't going to color themselves, dammit!)

How I Failed Five Today

Made him go to his Tae Kwon Do class, even though he's still not feeling well! And he doesn't care if his belt test is tomorrow

How I Didn't Fail Five Today

Let him stay home from school one more day, because he still didn't feel well. And, frankly, I made him go last week, and he had strep throat. I didn't KNOW that, but still-not my most shining mother moment. So, I gave us a mulligan.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't let him go see Three in his play, because he has strep throat. This was the only time he would get to see Three on stage! It didn't matter that we ordered the DVD-that would take, like, four months to get here!

LYRICS TO LIVE BY

Whenever I'm alone with you/
You make me feel like I am home again/
Whenever I'm alone with you/
You make me feel like I am whole again/
Whenever I'm alone with you/
You make me feel like I am young again/
Whenever I'm alone with you/
You make me feel like I am fun again.

However far away/
I will always love you/
However long I stay/
I will always love you/
Whatever words I say/
I will always love you/
I will always love you.

"Love Song"

THE CURE/ADELE

Luminous Lyrics

Your freezing speech bubbles/
Seem to hold your words aloft/
I want the smoky clouds of laughter/
To swim about me forever more.

The shells crack under our shoes/
Like punctuation points/
The planets bend between us/
A hundred million suns and stars.

"The Planets Bend Between Us"

SNOW PATROL

How I Failed Five Today

Made him share a chicken nugget with his brother. Yes, he'd already eaten half a hamburger, but he was still hungry, and those were his nuggets! I had to accept that he likes hamburgers, AND chicken.

How I Failed Five Today

We couldn't find the one "SpongeBob" Playstation game that he wanted. Oh, sure, we have "Atlantis Squarepantis," and "Revenge of the Flying Dutchman." But where is "Battle for Bikini Bottom?"

(The Lone Woman fears she may have sold it.)

How I Failed Five Today

When I made his Earth Day project, I put the tube for the gerbils in the side of the box, instead of the top. How are the gerbils going to get in the side? We need to be able to put the tube down into the cage, so it clearly needs to go on the top of the box.

How I Failed Five Today

Today, Five admitted that sometimes he's just angry with me, and it's not even my fault. Most of the time it is my fault, but not ALWAYS.

How I Failed Five Today

We haven't even started his Earth Day project, and it's due Monday.

How I Failed Five Today

Forgot his snack. Again.

(The Lone Woman has a serious mental block about snack!)

How I Failed Five Today

I didn't show up to his game until the very end.

How I Failed Five Today

I cancelled Easter, and he wasn't able to see his cousins.

Lyrics to Live By

LYRICS TO LIVE BY

Echoes and silence patience and grace/
All of these moments I'll never replace/
No fear of my heart, absence of faith/
And all I want is to be home

People I've loved, I have no regrets/
Some I remember, some I forget/
Some of them living, some of them dead/
And all I want is to be home

"Home"
FOO FIGHTERS

How I Failed Five Today

He was finally able to get a burger from Burger King, but I forgot he wanted chicken, too! He told me right before we went, so how could I forget?

(The Woman would like to note that Five has never eaten a BK burger, but since he was obsessed with the thought of them while he lay sick, that is all she thought to order.)

How I Failed Five Today

I wouldn't let him eat Burger King. Sure, he'd thrown up, but Burger King is so good, and now it will be at least three days before he can eat it!

How I Failed Five Today

Told him he didn't have to stretch at Tae Kwon Do, if it hurt him. Don't I understand that if he doesn't stretch he isn't doing his personal best? And Tae Kwon Do is about doing your personal best!

How I Failed Five Today

Sent him to school with a stomach ache, and he didn't get to see the nurse, and he got a headache from all the noise in the lunchroom. It's crowded in there! And now he is really sick.

Lyrics To Live By

Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?
Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it/
Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air? Have you ever looked fear in the face/
And said I just don't care?

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight/
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself/
Will it ever get better than tonight?
Tonight.

"Fistful of Glitter"
PINK

How I Failed Five Today

Made him run through the swarm of gnats surrounding my van at the bus stop. What if they had flown in his mouth? Or his eyes? Gnats are attracted to eyes. It's true, they like the wet part.

How I Failed Five Today

Had no chewy cookies for dessert. That meant he was allowed four of the hard skinny ones, which aren't as good.

How I Failed Five Today

He wanted to go to GameStop but I said we should wait for Four to get home. Do you know how long six and a half hours is? Then, I kept cleaning the house. Every time I said I was almost done, I found something else to do! I am a liar.

Lyrics To Live By

between my pride and my promise/
between my lies and how the truth gets in the way/
the things i want to say to you get lost before they come/
the only thing that's worse than one is none

"In Between"
LINKIN PARK

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't have anything to eat in the van, for the long trip to the airport. His stomach was hurt, because he was starving!

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't give him $30 for the Scholastic Book Fair. If he had $30 instead of $20, he could have bought the cat, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Teeny Tiny Animals, the alien eraser, AND still had money for the Skippyjon Jones books! Now he'll have to wait until next year for Skippyjon Jones!

How I Failed Five Today

Made him take a bath after practice. Couldn't I see that only the outside of his clothes got dirty? The germs didn't go on his skin.

How I Failed Five Today

Made him go to Tae Kwon Do, even though he is thinking of quitting again. He already knows his kicks. He doesn't need to practice anymore.

How I Failed Five Today

Dressed him too warm for the big foot race in gym. But he made it to the final anyway, so only a partial fail.

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him suck all the bath water out of the washcloth. His body germs aren't even in the washcloth!

How I Failed Five Today

Made him sit and do his homework after Two hurt him while wrestling. Didn't I care that he was injured?

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't care that each homework sentence had to have at least five words. I never understand the homework!

How I Failed Five Today

Even though he said please, like a thousand times, I still wouldn't let him eat Oreos on the couch. Well, that's it. He's done asking nicely.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't! He earned money doing yardwork, and I took him to Walgreen's as promised. (I may want to instill some fiscal responsibility, though. His money burns a hole in his pocket!)

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't take him to Paul's Diner for breakfast OR lunch, to celebrate the first day of Spring.

Lyrics to Live By

 

'Cause you can't jump the tracks, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe...Just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

"Breathe"

ANNA NALICK

How I Failed Five Today

Three Thin Mints do not count as dessert. There has to be at least five to count as dessert.

How I Failed Five Today

I didn't give him a BIG snack for the half-day at school. I gave him a sandwich, which isn't even a good snack.

How I Failed Five Today

I told him I was going to his brother's basketball game, and he asked to go.
"No," I said.
"What do you mean, I can't go to the last game? I've gone to all the games, and now, you say I can't go to THE LAST GAME?"
"Stay home with Four, and keep him company," I replied.
"Wait, this isn't Four's game?"
"No, it's Three's game."
"Oh. Nevermind. I'm staying home."
He just assumes I'm out to fail him.

How I Failed Five Today

Sent him to school with the wrong bookbag. The other day it was the wrong lunchbox, and now it's the wrong bookbag!

How I Failed Five Today

Why do I always tell him to get dressed right before it's time to go? Why doesn't he get dressed sooner, so it's not a waste of his time? I'm always saying, "Hurry up, we'll miss the bus," but if I got him dressed sooner, we wouldn't miss the bus, and if we did, it would be my fault.

How I Failed Five Today

Woke him up in the middle of a good dream. It was like a put I sword right through it.

How I Failed Five Today

Why did I bring the car to the bus stop? It was sunny! We could have walked! Next time, don't bring the car!

(Mother's note: it was 35 degrees, with 25 mph wind gusts. But, yes, it was sunny).

Lyrics to Live By

Don't be scared of anything at all
Everything we have is all we need
All the spotlights streaming into angry skies
Means there's no one watching as we leave

Say the first thing that comes into your head when
you see me
If it looks like it works and it feels like it works then it works
With the sun on your face all these worries will soon disappear, yeah
Just follow me now, just follow me now

"Wow"

SNOW PATROL

How I Failed Five Today

Tonight he asked me for something to eat. After he was in bed. He promised that if I brought him pretzels and fruit snacks, he wouldn't complain about not eating pizza at Pavolo's. AN IMPLIED FUTURE FAIL!

How I Failed Five Today

I forbade him from going to CCD with Four. It was individual practice, and no brothers were allowed. Then I lied and said I would be right back, and I took forever, until finally! I got home like two hours later!

How I Failed Five Today

I didn't! He actually told me I was a good mother. But I can't remember what I did that prompted the comment, because I was so stunned.

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't give him salami for dessert, after he spent the previous 24 hours vomiting. But the virus is gone!

How I Failed Five Today

He wanted to play "Star Wars" after school, and I didn't make Four surrender the tv as soon as he walked through the door.

How I Failed Five Today

Told him he could have two chocolate chip mini muffins, but when he went to get them, there was only one!

How I Failed to Fail Five Today

Today I drove him to Walgreens so he could buy a Beanie Baby with his own money. And when we got home, he saw it had a hole, and I sewed it! In the same day! No fail for me! Suck it, Five! (Too harsh?)

How I Failed Five Today

After Tae Kwon Do, I brought the pizza home, instead of letting him eat it at the restaurant. I am always messing that up

How I Failed Five Today

Even though he is quiet in his bed, I always snuggle with Four first.

Lyrics to Live By

Even through a stone a flower can bloom
You just need a little push, spring is coming soon
Umbrella in the rain, let it roll off your back
Weather what you can, realize what you have

Put a little light in the darkest places
Put a little smile on the saddest faces

"Virginia Bluebell"

MIRANDA LAMBERT

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him eat salami at 9:00 at night.

Luminous Lyrics

Until the last resilient hope
Has frozen deep inside my bones
And this broken fate has claimed me
And my memories for its own
Your name is pounding through my veins
Can't you hear how it is sung?
And I can taste you in my mouth
Before the words escape my lungs
And I whisper only once

"The Secret's in the Tellling"

DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL

How I Failed Five Today

Ha! I did not! We walked home from the bus stop, and we stopped at all the storm drains to watch the rushing water from the melted snow. And I did not hurry him at all.

Luminous Lyrics

It's been minutes, it's been days
It's been all I will remember
Happy lost in your hair
And the cold side of the pillow

Your hills and valleys
Are mapped by my intrepid fingers
And in a naked slumber
I dream all this again

"Crack the Shutters"

SNOW PATROL

How I Failed Five Today

Let me count the ways. Most egregious: I promised him Burger King and five puddings, because he had a horrible day, he's crying, you know, just like that time in gym, and then I did not get him Burger King!

Luminous Lyrics

The fire, the wine, the bed, and you
In this crimson light I find the truth
And truth is like a punch or two
It hits you hard and knocks you through

So I get on the road and ride to you
I get on the road and ride to you

Kiss like a fight that neither wins
One tender payment for our sins
You are the drug that I can't quit
Your perfect chaos is the perfect fit

"Get on the Road"

TIRED PONY

How I Failed Five Today

Told him the foot doctor would just look and see that everything was fine, but instead he had to remove some dead skin. I didn't deliberately deceive him, but I feel like I actually failed him this time.

Luminous Lyrics

Now your eyelids, they faint and they shiver
Like the wings of the last bird to leave
For the south, for the heat, for no reason
I watch as they fly for sheer joy.

The wind shakes the branches above us
And the cars shake the ground at our backs
But the dark Roman wine in our bloodstreams
Makes the cold just a word, just a sound.

"Dark Roman Wine"
SNOW PATROL

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him drink an entire bottle of Gatorade before bed.

Luminous Lyrics

Love, it will not betray you,
Dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free.
Be more like the man
you were made to be.

"Sigh No More"
MUMFORD & SONS

How I Failed Five Today

Made him go to sleep with no pain reliever for his sore arm. The one he was using to wrestle his brother, with no complaint, up until the very moment I laid down to snuggle.