How I Failed Five Today

Made him take a bath after practice. Couldn't I see that only the outside of his clothes got dirty? The germs didn't go on his skin.

How I Failed Five Today

Made him go to Tae Kwon Do, even though he is thinking of quitting again. He already knows his kicks. He doesn't need to practice anymore.

How I Failed Five Today

Dressed him too warm for the big foot race in gym. But he made it to the final anyway, so only a partial fail.

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him suck all the bath water out of the washcloth. His body germs aren't even in the washcloth!

How I Failed Five Today

Made him sit and do his homework after Two hurt him while wrestling. Didn't I care that he was injured?

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't care that each homework sentence had to have at least five words. I never understand the homework!

How I Failed Five Today

Even though he said please, like a thousand times, I still wouldn't let him eat Oreos on the couch. Well, that's it. He's done asking nicely.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't! He earned money doing yardwork, and I took him to Walgreen's as promised. (I may want to instill some fiscal responsibility, though. His money burns a hole in his pocket!)

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't take him to Paul's Diner for breakfast OR lunch, to celebrate the first day of Spring.

Lyrics to Live By

 

'Cause you can't jump the tracks, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe...Just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

"Breathe"

ANNA NALICK

How I Failed Five Today

Three Thin Mints do not count as dessert. There has to be at least five to count as dessert.

How I Failed Five Today

I didn't give him a BIG snack for the half-day at school. I gave him a sandwich, which isn't even a good snack.

How I Failed Five Today

I told him I was going to his brother's basketball game, and he asked to go.
"No," I said.
"What do you mean, I can't go to the last game? I've gone to all the games, and now, you say I can't go to THE LAST GAME?"
"Stay home with Four, and keep him company," I replied.
"Wait, this isn't Four's game?"
"No, it's Three's game."
"Oh. Nevermind. I'm staying home."
He just assumes I'm out to fail him.

How I Failed Five Today

Sent him to school with the wrong bookbag. The other day it was the wrong lunchbox, and now it's the wrong bookbag!

How I Failed Five Today

Why do I always tell him to get dressed right before it's time to go? Why doesn't he get dressed sooner, so it's not a waste of his time? I'm always saying, "Hurry up, we'll miss the bus," but if I got him dressed sooner, we wouldn't miss the bus, and if we did, it would be my fault.

How I Failed Five Today

Woke him up in the middle of a good dream. It was like a put I sword right through it.

How I Failed Five Today

Why did I bring the car to the bus stop? It was sunny! We could have walked! Next time, don't bring the car!

(Mother's note: it was 35 degrees, with 25 mph wind gusts. But, yes, it was sunny).

Lyrics to Live By

Don't be scared of anything at all
Everything we have is all we need
All the spotlights streaming into angry skies
Means there's no one watching as we leave

Say the first thing that comes into your head when
you see me
If it looks like it works and it feels like it works then it works
With the sun on your face all these worries will soon disappear, yeah
Just follow me now, just follow me now

"Wow"

SNOW PATROL

How I Failed Five Today

Tonight he asked me for something to eat. After he was in bed. He promised that if I brought him pretzels and fruit snacks, he wouldn't complain about not eating pizza at Pavolo's. AN IMPLIED FUTURE FAIL!

How I Failed Five Today

I forbade him from going to CCD with Four. It was individual practice, and no brothers were allowed. Then I lied and said I would be right back, and I took forever, until finally! I got home like two hours later!

How I Failed Five Today

I didn't! He actually told me I was a good mother. But I can't remember what I did that prompted the comment, because I was so stunned.

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't give him salami for dessert, after he spent the previous 24 hours vomiting. But the virus is gone!