How I Failed Five Today

Forgot to spray him with mosquito repellent, and now he is covered in raised welts. Telling him he has sweet blood didn't seem to help.

How I Failed Four Today

Thanks to me, Four got two points deducted for an incomplete homework page. I hadn't checked to make sure it was done. I told him I'm only human, and Five chimed in to say, "She makes mistakes, you know. It's no big deal." Oh, the irony.

How I Failed Five Today

The cheese and crackers he ate before his game wasn't real dinner, which is why he needed more food before bed!

How I Failed Five Today

Threw away an important green feather that belonged to his stuffed tiger. He doesn't know I threw it away, because he asked where it was as we were walking out the door for the bus. I lied, to get him to school. The Lone Woman is not perfect.

How I Failed Five Today

Got a puppy that eats all his plastic dinosaurs, and jumps on him on the couch! Why did we get her anyway?

How I Failed Five Today

I forget at least one dose of antibiotic each day. He'll never get better!

How I Failed Five Today

Same song, different key:
I made him go to school today, even though he still feels horrible! Don't I understand what that means? His throat is sore, and his legs hurt, too! Why does strep make his legs hurt?

(In the Woman's defense: the boy has been on antibiotics since Sunday. His throat isn't any more sore than it was four days ago. And I think his legs hurt because he grows an inch a day. Plus, I had a hair appointment, so there was no way he could stay home. Those grey hairs aren't going to color themselves, dammit!)

How I Failed Five Today

Made him go to his Tae Kwon Do class, even though he's still not feeling well! And he doesn't care if his belt test is tomorrow

How I Didn't Fail Five Today

Let him stay home from school one more day, because he still didn't feel well. And, frankly, I made him go last week, and he had strep throat. I didn't KNOW that, but still-not my most shining mother moment. So, I gave us a mulligan.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't let him go see Three in his play, because he has strep throat. This was the only time he would get to see Three on stage! It didn't matter that we ordered the DVD-that would take, like, four months to get here!

LYRICS TO LIVE BY

Whenever I'm alone with you/
You make me feel like I am home again/
Whenever I'm alone with you/
You make me feel like I am whole again/
Whenever I'm alone with you/
You make me feel like I am young again/
Whenever I'm alone with you/
You make me feel like I am fun again.

However far away/
I will always love you/
However long I stay/
I will always love you/
Whatever words I say/
I will always love you/
I will always love you.

"Love Song"

THE CURE/ADELE

Luminous Lyrics

Your freezing speech bubbles/
Seem to hold your words aloft/
I want the smoky clouds of laughter/
To swim about me forever more.

The shells crack under our shoes/
Like punctuation points/
The planets bend between us/
A hundred million suns and stars.

"The Planets Bend Between Us"

SNOW PATROL

How I Failed Five Today

Made him share a chicken nugget with his brother. Yes, he'd already eaten half a hamburger, but he was still hungry, and those were his nuggets! I had to accept that he likes hamburgers, AND chicken.

How I Failed Five Today

We couldn't find the one "SpongeBob" Playstation game that he wanted. Oh, sure, we have "Atlantis Squarepantis," and "Revenge of the Flying Dutchman." But where is "Battle for Bikini Bottom?"

(The Lone Woman fears she may have sold it.)

How I Failed Five Today

When I made his Earth Day project, I put the tube for the gerbils in the side of the box, instead of the top. How are the gerbils going to get in the side? We need to be able to put the tube down into the cage, so it clearly needs to go on the top of the box.

How I Failed Five Today

Today, Five admitted that sometimes he's just angry with me, and it's not even my fault. Most of the time it is my fault, but not ALWAYS.

How I Failed Five Today

We haven't even started his Earth Day project, and it's due Monday.

How I Failed Five Today

Forgot his snack. Again.

(The Lone Woman has a serious mental block about snack!)