How I Failed Five Today

Got Sicilian pizza for dinner. He doesn't like when you can see the sauce underneath the cheese. And it's too thick.

Lyrics to Live By

Sometimes I wish I lived in an Airstream/
Homemade curtains, lived just like a gypsy/
Break a heart, roll out of town/
'Cause gypsies never get tied down.


Sometimes I wish I lived by a pier/
In a lighthouse with a chandelier/
I'd watch everybody's ships come in/
And then I'd sail away with them.

"Airstream Song"
MIRANDA LAMBERT

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him shoot his Beyblades across my hardwood floor. They won't leave scratches. They're hardly made of metal at all.

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't sit with him all day and look at pet lizard options on the computer. But Aunt Erin said he had to do research before he got a new pet!

How I Failed Five Today

Couldn't figure out how to "free roam" on the PS3 racing car game he was playing. This will be a perpetual failure.

How I Failed Five

Couldn't find his blue pouch that holds his Beyblade tools. I mean, I'm the one who put it in his desk, so I should know where it is.

Lyrics To Live By

Today I don't feel like doing anything/
I just want to lay in my bed/
Don't feel like picking up my phone/
So leave a message at the tone/
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything/
Nothing at all.


"The Lazy Song"
BRUNO MARS

How I Failed Five

Let him swim in the pool after the chemicals had been added, and he got a really bad rash. I mean, not IMMEDIATELY after the chemicals had been added, but my bad.

Lyrics to Live By

We belong to the light/
We belong to the thunder/
We belong to the sound of the words/
We've both fallen under

Whatever we deny or embrace/
For worse or for better/
We belong, we belong/
We belong together.


"We Belong"
PAT BENATAR

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him eat the Doritos from the snack bags. He knows they're for the beach, but they're taunting him! He can't resist them!

How I Failed Five Today

Tried to eat lunch outside without him. He wanted a lunch break, too, you know.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't get him a cup of water at bedtime, even though he'd been waiting for so long. Clearly he was dehydrated, which is why he still wasn't asleep.

How I Failed Five Today

Took him to the dentist, and even though I said the paintbrush stuff wouldn't taste horrible, it did! It tasted just as bad as last time! He hates the dentist, and the prize didn't even stick like it was supposed to.

How I Failed Five Today

Took him to the dentist, and even though I said the paintbrush stuff wouldn't taste horrible, it did! It tasted just as bad as last time! He hates the dentist, and the prize didn't even stick like it was supposed to.

Luminous Lyrics

This light at the end of the day/
When even the highway seems still/
The map in my hands folded shut/
there isn't one magical word/
But a carnival of them instead/
Like an old silent cinema screen.

And in this light you are framed classically/
Just a painting that hangs in my head/
That I know like the back of my hand/
With the sunset the neon awakes/
And the cold colours dance on your skin/
And finally the modern makes sense to me.

You're effortless, you know you are/
And all I want to do/
Is let you lead me off into the dusk/
The shadows kiss before we do/
Right here in the dark/
I revel in the calm before the storm.

"Held in the Arms of Your Words"
TIRED PONY

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't take him to the pond to hunt for tadpoles and turtles. 87 degrees is the perfect temperature to go there! Who cares that we can't swim there? We can just catch things!

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't take him to see the fireworks. He was pretty sure it wasn't all that tiring to put my hands on the steering wheel and drive there, and we didn't have that much stuff to carry. Now he'd have to wait a whole year to see them again.

How I Failed Five Today

Couldn't get "Star Wars Battlefront Two" to work on the Playstation. It's his favorite game! Nothing else would make him happy.

Lyrics to Live By

If I wasn't by your side/
I'd never be satisfied/
Nothin' would feel just right/
If I wasn't by your side/

'Cause I'm not easy to understand/
But you know me like the back of your hand/
I'm your girl and you're my man/
And we're makin' plans/

We can go on and on/
Won't ever feel too long/
I'll always call you home/
And we'll go on and on

"Makin' Plans"

MIRANDA LAMBERT

How I Failed Five Today

There was only one big chocolate chip cookie left, not two, and I gave the first one to Four. The other one was oatmeal. Why would I think he liked oatmeal? Really. Why?