How I Failed Five Today

Wrote a note to his teacher to ask a question. That's going to get him in trouble.

Lyrics to Live By

Hush little baby, don't say a word/
Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird/

And if that mockingbird don't sing/
Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring/

And if that diamond ring turns brass/
Mama's gonna buy you a looking glass/

And if that looking glass gets broke/
Mama's gonna buy you a billy goat/

And if that billy goat won't pull
Mama's gonna buy you a cart and bull/

And if that cart and bull fall down/
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.

"Hush Little Baby"

LULLABY

How I Failed Five Today

Missed the ice cream social at school. There was ice cream, and it was two hours long, and there was a D.J.! How could I not remember? I never listen to him.

(The school sends all notices electronically. I missed it. He didn't tell me. He doesn't like ice cream, but it's true-the D.J. would have been fun.)

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't front him the ten dollars to order an extra Lego kit. I mean, he's good for it. Obviously.

How I Failed Five Today

Didn't pay him his allowance until Sunday. Which is the beginning of a new week. He's supposed to get paid at the end of the week.

Lyrics and Failures

Mr. Bring Me Down/
Well ya like to bring me down, dont' ya/
But I ain't laying down/
Baby I ain't going down/
Can't nobody tell me how it's gonna be/
Nobody's gonna make a fool out of me/
Baby you should know that I lead, not follow

"Mr. Know it All"

KELLY CLARKSON

How I Failed Five Today

Made him wait for Dad to go to the diner for dessert. He's been planning this for weeks, and I keep making him wait! And then, after he had chocolate chip pancakes, I would not buy him a big cookie. You know, they're pancakes, which isn't really dessert.

How I Failed Five Today

He did not get enough sleep last night, so the day was full of many failures. Usually involving my inability to give him what he wanted IMMEDIATELY.

How I Failed Five Today

Would not let him build the Lego mini-sub three minutes before we had to leave for the bus. How long does it take to flip through a few pages of instructions, anyway?

How I Failed Five Today

He's not allowed to say, because I gave birth to him. He is contractually obligated to be grateful to me today.

Lyrics to Live By

Sing it out/
Boy, you've got to see what tomorrow brings/
Sing it out/
Girl, you've got to be what tomorrow needs

For every time that/
They want to count you out/
Use your voice every single time/
You open up your mouth

Sing it for the boys, sing it for the girls/
Every time you lose it, sing it for the world/
Sing it from the heart, sing it 'til you're nuts/
Sing it out for the ones that'll hate your guts
Sing it for the deaf, sing it for the blind/
Sing about everyone that you left behind/
Sing it for the world, sing it for the world

"Sing"
MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

How I Failed Five Today

Oh my, in so many ways. Other kids have good mothers that will let them go to a different school. Nice moms. Not like me.

How I Failed Five Today

Cut his fingernails before school. He was sleepy, and his hands weren't ready!

Lyrics To Live By

Take me to the river/
Drop me in the water/
Take me to the river/
Drop me in the water, water/
I don't know why I love you like I do/
All the trouble that you put me through/
Take my money, my cigarettes/
I haven't seen the worst of it yet/
I wanna know, can you tell me?/
I love to stay/
Take me to the river/
Drop me in the water

"Take Me to the River"
TALKING HEADS

How I Failed Five Today

Made him wait until I was done eating dinner to get him dessert. But twenty minutes is too long!

Lyrics To Live By

You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You'll never know dear
How much I love you
So please don't take
My sunshine
Away.

The other night dear
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms
When I awoke dear
I was mistaken
And I held
My head
And cried.

"You are My Sunshine"
RICKY NELSON

(and me, a thousand times)

How I Failed Five Today

Wouldn't let him eat four packs of fruit snacks. Why not? They're fruit!

How I Failed Five Today

Got him a string launcher as an early birthday present, when he really wanted a Duo Launcher. Next time I get him an early birthday present, it would be good to double-check with him. To make sure I get it right.

Lyrics to Live By

LYRICS TO LIVE BY

Do you remember/
when we were strung out/
Eating top ramen and/
macaroni and cheese/
We would get so lost/
in that basement room/
And let Otis Redding/
sing us to sleep.

I wish I had one more life.

I don't want to be wasted/
I don't want to live inside/
this daydream anymore/
I just want to be happy again.

"Otis Redding"
EVERCLEAR

How I Failed Five Today

Wizard 101 shut off right in the middle of an important battle. It was probably because I installed it wrong.